For the Love of Friday

For the Love of Friday – Confessions of a Perfectionist

 

Hi friends.  My name is Colleen and I am a perfectionist.  If you know me even a little bit, you probably have had an inkling of this character trait I possess.  I am perpetually trying to improve on every single task I do, while rarely feeling that I have put enough effort into anything.  Now this might sound like a good thing, and I guess it can be for a large percentage of the time.  But the downside is this… I can never relax.  And I think it sometimes really hinders my happiness or ability to live in the moment.  Examples you ask?  Well I will give them to you.

Exhibit A: College.  What were normal people doing?  Going to frat parties.  Exploring campus.  Joining fun club things.  What was I doing?  Studying…all…the…time.  Just ask Corey.  He would come visit on the weekends and I would still spend Saturday nights studying.  If I didn’t get at least a 92 on a test, I would have a meltdown.  It was unecessary.  I calmed down some in grad school, but not enough.

Exhibit B: High school tennis.  I was actually pretty good at tennis in high school.  Ask me if I picked up a racket in the last 6 months (because I haven’t, tis a shame).  During the school day of a tennis match, I would be terrified.  Like, physically terrified.  Want to know why?  Because I was afraid of losing, or playing poorly, or not living up to expectations.  When I lost for the first time during an undefeated season my senior year, I cried for two days.

Exhibit C: Life man, just life.  I am constantly jealous of Corey’s ability to let things go and just live.  I don’t have that ability.  If I relax and just read or watch TV without accomplishing something, I feel so guilty.  During my honeymoon, I was worried that I could have improved upon the wedding.  When I got home, I was worried that I hadn’t enjoyed the honeymoon enough.  When I’m doing something for the blog, I am worried that I am not getting work work done.  When I’m working, I’m worried that I’m not enjoying life enough.  If I work on the weekends, I am stressed because I’m not cleaning.  If I clean on the weekends, I am stressed because I’m not working.  It is exhausting.

So I have been working on letting go a little more, and have been improving slowly but surely.  Maybe one day I will leisure freely without feeling an ounce of guilt.  Until then, I will continue to live in my little perfectionist world.

Do any of you guys have this problem?  Any ideas on how I can ease my perfectionist streak?  Happy Friday everyone!  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

 

 

 

 

 

  1. christina

    My husband often tells me I have this same problem. I cannot sit down in the evening without working on something while he watches TV. And on the weekends, I need an “agenda.” I just don’t think I have the capability to relax.

  2. Lindsay

    I definitely understand how this can be exhausting, but this is also something I admire about you! You are passionate about everything you involve yourself in! I feel like I have the opposite problem, and have always wished I had a little of your drive for perfection. I guess it’s all about balance :).

  3. Colleen

    Exhibit D: Messed up the picture of my cat with a white circle at the bottom right that I forgot to get rid of. It is going to kill me all day long until I can get to photoshop to fix it and you guys probably haven’t even noticed it.

    Christina, it is nice to have a friend in this craziness! You let me know if you ever have any success relaxing. Lindsay, thanks hunny, I always wish I was more like you! We need to like, mix, or something.

  4. Lindsey @ be pretty

    Oh Colleen, I feel like your talking directly to me! Honestly! I’m battling a severe case of OCD… I’ve always been a little particular, OCD-like, but it’s honestly taking over my life… sometimes in a funny way, but other times in a WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME WAY. I’m like you, can’t sit down and relax until every inch of my house is in perfect place. I dust daily. I swifter my floors daily. Dust, dirt and disorder get literally under my skin. It’s the same with work too… I packed my makeup bag for my wedding on Saturday 3 days ago… 2 of the bags are already in the car. LOL’s, what is life coming to! 🙂 I’m with you girl… it’s so hard to let go, but again, that’s what makes “us” – US! So just go with it… I often times let Sunday AFTERNOONS {not all of Sunday}, but the afternoon’s as my “off time”… JT will watch golf, I’ll snuggle on the sofa with my book and lately I’ve been able to take a cat nap! Try it! xoxo

  5. Lindsey @ be pretty

    ps… longest comment of all time! 🙂 Sorry, good luck reading that one! 😉

  6. Stephanie G

    Your spontanious trip with Corey today is a start. Your problem is what got you your grants and scholarships that no body else got. You worked for all of it and you deserved it. Not everything turns out in life like you want no matter how hard you work at it. When it can’t get better or improved just go with the FLOW. “Don’t Worry Be Happy”!!!!

  7. Stephanie G

    OH! Love the picture of Picca.

  8. Taylor

    Your perfectionist ways are what make you who you are and why you are so successful. I wish I could relate to this, but I have no problem relaxing haha. I get stressed when I have too much goign on and don’t get a day on the weekend to do nothing. I am however, a perfectionist in my brain when it comes to how I act and how I am as a friend. I am constantly beating myself up for not being a perfect friend and person. It is exhausting.